An Unholy Alliance

Over the years we've come to see that the only thing more tragic than the things that have happened to us is what we have done with them.

Words were said, painful words. Things were done, awful things. And they shaped us. Something inside us shifted. We embraced the messages of our wounds. We accepted a twisted view of ourselves. And from that we chose a way of relating to our world. We made a vow never to be in that place again. We adopted strategies to protect ourselves from being hurt again. A woman that is living out of a broken, wounded heart is a woman who is living a self-protective life. She may not be aware of it, but it is true. It's our way of trying to "save ourselves."

We also developed ways of trying to get something of the love our hearts cried out for. The ache is there. Our desperate need for love and affirmation, our thirst for some taste of romance and adventure and beauty is there. So we turned to boys or to food or to romance novels; we lost ourselves in our work or at church or in some sort of service. All this adds up to the woman we are today. Much of what we call our "personalities" is actually the mosaic of our choices for self-protection plus our plan to get something of the love we were created for.

The problem is, our plan has nothing to do with God.

The wounds we received and the messages they brought formed a sort of unholy alliance with our fallen nature as women. From Eve we received a deep mistrust in the heart of God toward us. Clearly, he's holding out on us. We'll just have to arrange for the life we want. We will control our world. But there is also an ache deep within, an ache for intimacy and for life. We'll have to find a way to fill it. A way that does not require us to trust anyone, especially God. A way that will not require vulnerability.

(Captivating , 74-75)

Source: Ransomed Heart Ministries by John Eldredge

John Eldredge: Walking with God

Psalm 23, He leads us away, to a quiet place, to restore the soul. Our first choice is to go with him there-to slow down, unplug, accept the invitation to come aside. You won't find healing in the midst of the Matrix. We need time in the presence of God. This often comes on the heels of God's raising some issue in our hearts or after we've just relived an event that takes us straight to that broken place, or waking as I did to a raw emotion.

Teach me your way, O LORD,
and I will walk in your truth;
give me an undivided heart,
that I may fear your name.
I will praise you, O Lord my God, with all my heart;
I will glorify your name forever. (Ps. 86:11-12)

Source: Ransomed Heart Ministries by John Eldredge

Expecting A Baby

“He [Joseph] went there to register with Mary, who was pledged to be married to him and was expecting a child. While they were there, the time came for the baby to be born, and she gave birth to her firstborn, a son. She wrapped him in cloths and placed him in a manger, because there was no room for them in the inn.” Luke 2:5-7

An expecting wife needs extra sensitivity, and a strong supportive husband. She is emotionally vulnerable, and physically overwhelmed at times. As with Mary, there may be some uncertainty of the ultimate outcome, but she trusts the Lord to care for her and her baby. The circumstances are challenging when you are away from the comforts of home and its familiar feel. Pregnancy is a transition that requires trust in the Lord.

Husbands, your expecting wife needs you to step up like Joseph and provide leadership. This is not the time to lose faith, or become frightened. Perfect love casts out fear, so overcome any apprehensions with the Christ-like love that dwells in your mind and heart. See pregnancy as a prayerful process to accomplish the plan of Almighty God, as expecting moms and dads can expect great things from Him. Hannah and her husband Elkanah gave God the glory for the blessing of their son Samuel:

“Early the next morning they arose and worshiped before the LORD and then went back to their home at Ramah. Elkanah made love to his wife Hannah, and the LORD remembered her. So in the course of time Hannah became pregnant and gave birth to a son. She named him Samuel, saying, “Because I asked the LORD for him” (1 Samuel 1:19-20).

Furthermore, a husband’s leadership needs to provide protection for his wife. Accompany her, as Joseph did, to new places and people who might take advantage of your sweet spirited spouse. It makes your woman feel safe and secure when you buffer her from bad people, or strangers with unseemly motives. Stay with her, and see her through stressful situations, like family members who can be awkward and insensitive toward your bride.

Intervene and defend your wife if your children, parents or siblings show disrespect, ever how subtle it might be. God in marriage made you one flesh, so if she is offended, you are offended. Of course prayerfully confront all parties in a spirit of grace and humility, but with clarity. An expecting wife is beautiful to behold, as she brings forth an innocent infant woven in her womb by God. Be there for her labor of love for the Lord, and for His gift of a precious little one to love. Mary gave God the glory for her baby Jesus!

“The LORD has done this, and it is marvelous in our eyes” (Psalm 118:23).

Who can I support and pray for who is expecting a baby? How can I thank my heavenly Father for His gift of baby Jesus to me and to mankind?

Related Readings: Isaiah 7:14; Micah 5:2; John 16:21; I John 4:18

Source: Wisdom Hunters by Boyd Bailey