Numbed

The way to render a man happy, is to engage him with an object that will make him forget his private troubles. - Pascal

Don't be fooled by the apparent innocence of the object you've chosen as an idol; what is the function of it? Most of our idols also have a perfectly legitimate place in our lives. That's their cover, that's how we get away with our infidelity. The prophet Isaiah gives an example of this when he marvels at a man who cuts down a tree in the forest, and then puts it to two very different uses:

Half of the wood he burns in the fire;
Over it he prepares his meal,
He roasts his meat and eats his fill.

Nothing wrong here. That's the perfectly appropriate use of wood. But it doesn't end there (it rarely does):

From the rest he makes a god, his idol;
He bows down to it and worships
He prays to it and says,
"Save me; you are my god."

The prophet is incredulous. "Doesn't he see what he's doing?," he wonders:

No one stops to think,
No one has the knowledge or understanding to say,
"Half of it I used for fuel;
I even baked bread over its coals,
I roasted meat and ate.
Shall I make a detestable thing from what is left?
Shall I bow down to a block of wood?
He feeds on ashes, a deluded heart misleads him;
He cannot save himself or say,
"Is not this thing in my right hand a lie?" (44:16-17,19-20)

So there you have it: No one stops to think. No one wants to take a good, hard look at what they are really doing, for then we might see the lie. We would see the water hole for the muddy puddle it is. Our idols become the means by which we forget who we truly are and where we truly come from. They numb us.

Source: Ransomed Heart Ministries by John Eldredge

Eve's Wound

Every woman can tell you about her wound; some came with violence, others came with neglect. Just as every little boy is asking one question, every little girl is, as well. But her question isn’t so much about her strength. No, the deep cry of a little girl’s heart is, Am I lovely? Every woman needs to know that she is exquisite and exotic and chosen. This is core to her identity, the way she bears the image of God. Will you pursue me? Do you delight in me? Will you fight for me? And like every little boy, she has taken a wound as well. The wound strikes right at the core of her heart of beauty and leaves a devastating message with it: No. You’re not beautiful and no one will really fight for you. Like your wound, hers almost always comes at the hand of her father.

A little girl looks to her father to know if she is lovely. The power he has to cripple or to bless is just as significant to her as it is to his son. If he’s a violent man he may defile her verbally or sexually. The stories I’ve heard from women who have been abused would tear your heart out. Janet was molested by her father when she was three; around the age of seven he showed her brothers how to do it. The assault continued until she moved away to college. What is a violated woman to think about her beauty? Am I lovely? The message is, No ... you are dirty. Anything attractive about you is dark and evil. The assault continues as she grows up, through violent men and passive men. She may be stalked; she may be ignored. Either way, her heart is violated and the message is driven farther in: you are not desired; you will not be protected; no one will fight for you. The tower is built brick by brick, and when she’s a grown woman it can be a fortress.

Source: Ransomed Heart Ministries by John Eldredge

Joy

Why don’t I wake with a joyful heart? Joy was just here. Where did it go?

I began to realize that what I’ve done for most of my life is resign myself to this idea: I’m really not going to have any lasting joy. And from that resignation, I’ve gone on to try and find what I could have. Women do this in marriage. They see that they are not going to have any real intimacy with their husbands, so they lose themselves in soaps or tabloids or romance novels. Men find their work a sort of slow death, so they get a little something in the bar scene each night. Have a few beers with the boys, watch the game. Joy isn’t even a consideration. Settle for relief.

Now, to be fair, joy isn’t exactly falling from the sky these days. We don’t go out to gather it each morning like manna. It’s hard to come by. Joy seems more elusive than winning the lottery. We don’t like to think about it much, because it hurts to allow ourselves to feel how much we long for joy, and how seldom it drops by.

But joy is the point. I know it is. God says that joy is our strength. “The joy of the Lord is your strength” (Nehemiah 8:10). I think, My strength? I don’t even think of it as my occasional boost. But yes, now that I give it some thought, I can see that when I have felt joy I have felt more alive than at any other time in my life. Pull up a memory of one of your best moments. The day at the beach. Your eighth birthday. Remember how you felt. Now think what life would be like if you felt like that on a regular basis. Maybe that’s what being strengthened by joy feels like. It would be good.

Source: Ransomed Heart Ministries by John Eldredge