2 Chronicles 20:12
If you’ve ever experienced a storm when around other people, you know not everyone responds the same way.
Picture a backyard party where all the guests are having fun, but then the wind picks up. The temperature drops, the sky darkens, and the scent of rain is in the air. Everyone scrambles to grab something and head indoors. Just as the last person rushes in with the potato salad, the skies let go. Inside, people gather into clusters. One group stands at the window, oohing and aahing at the thunder and lightning outside. On the couch, others hug each other or cover their ears; a few jump and shudder with every boom. Another group, chatting away, seems completely oblivious to the weather. Isn’t this a picture of how people react differently to the storms of life?
When it comes to the upheavals we face, our varied responses can have a significant impact down the road. Some people respond in a healthy way and emerge stronger, while others are broken by the challenge.
What accounts for the difference in our response is our view of God. If we see Him as our loving heavenly Father, we’ll understand He has the best possible plan for our life, even if the path is, for a time, through troubled waters. But if we consider Him an obstruction to the goals we’ve set for ourselves, we could miss out on the blessings He has in mind for us.
Storms are unavoidable in life. When one comes your way, the wisest thing you can do is to cry out to Jesus. Won’t you choose to respond with an attitude of trust in the Lord and submission to His way?
Bible in One Year: Numbers 20-22
Source: In Touch Ministries by Dr. Charles F. Stanley
2.15.2017
2.10.2017
She’ll Make You Want to Charge the Castle
There is nothing so inspiring to a man as a beautiful woman. She’ll make you want to charge the castle, slay the giant, leap across the parapets. Or maybe, hit a home run.
A man wants to be the hero to the beauty. Young men going off to war carry a photo of their sweetheart in their wallet. Men who fly combat missions will paint a beauty on the side of their aircraft; the crews of the WWII B-17 bomber gave those flying fortresses names like Me and My Gal or the Memphis Belle. What would Robin Hood or King Arthur be without the woman they love? Lonely men fighting lonely battles. Indiana Jones and James Bond just wouldn’t be the same without a beauty at their side, and inevitably they must fight for her. You see, it’s not just that a man needs a battle to fight; he needs someone to fight for. Remember Nehemiah’s words to the few brave souls defending a wall-less Jerusalem? “Don’t be afraid ... fight for your brothers, your sons and your daughters, your wives and your homes.” The battle itself is never enough; a man yearns for romance. It’s not enough to be a hero; it’s that he is a hero to someone in particular, to the woman he loves. Adam was given the wind and the sea, the horse and the hawk, but as God himself said, things were just not right until there was Eve.
Yes, there is something passionate in the heart of every man.
Source: Ransomed Heart Ministries by John Eldredge
A man wants to be the hero to the beauty. Young men going off to war carry a photo of their sweetheart in their wallet. Men who fly combat missions will paint a beauty on the side of their aircraft; the crews of the WWII B-17 bomber gave those flying fortresses names like Me and My Gal or the Memphis Belle. What would Robin Hood or King Arthur be without the woman they love? Lonely men fighting lonely battles. Indiana Jones and James Bond just wouldn’t be the same without a beauty at their side, and inevitably they must fight for her. You see, it’s not just that a man needs a battle to fight; he needs someone to fight for. Remember Nehemiah’s words to the few brave souls defending a wall-less Jerusalem? “Don’t be afraid ... fight for your brothers, your sons and your daughters, your wives and your homes.” The battle itself is never enough; a man yearns for romance. It’s not enough to be a hero; it’s that he is a hero to someone in particular, to the woman he loves. Adam was given the wind and the sea, the horse and the hawk, but as God himself said, things were just not right until there was Eve.
Yes, there is something passionate in the heart of every man.
Source: Ransomed Heart Ministries by John Eldredge
1.16.2017
Numbed
The way to render a man happy, is to engage him with an object that will make him forget his private troubles. - Pascal
Don't be fooled by the apparent innocence of the object you've chosen as an idol; what is the function of it? Most of our idols also have a perfectly legitimate place in our lives. That's their cover, that's how we get away with our infidelity. The prophet Isaiah gives an example of this when he marvels at a man who cuts down a tree in the forest, and then puts it to two very different uses:
Half of the wood he burns in the fire;
Over it he prepares his meal,
He roasts his meat and eats his fill.
Nothing wrong here. That's the perfectly appropriate use of wood. But it doesn't end there (it rarely does):
From the rest he makes a god, his idol;
He bows down to it and worships
He prays to it and says,
"Save me; you are my god."
The prophet is incredulous. "Doesn't he see what he's doing?," he wonders:
No one stops to think,
No one has the knowledge or understanding to say,
"Half of it I used for fuel;
I even baked bread over its coals,
I roasted meat and ate.
Shall I make a detestable thing from what is left?
Shall I bow down to a block of wood?
He feeds on ashes, a deluded heart misleads him;
He cannot save himself or say,
"Is not this thing in my right hand a lie?" (44:16-17,19-20)
So there you have it: No one stops to think. No one wants to take a good, hard look at what they are really doing, for then we might see the lie. We would see the water hole for the muddy puddle it is. Our idols become the means by which we forget who we truly are and where we truly come from. They numb us.
Source: Ransomed Heart Ministries by John Eldredge
Don't be fooled by the apparent innocence of the object you've chosen as an idol; what is the function of it? Most of our idols also have a perfectly legitimate place in our lives. That's their cover, that's how we get away with our infidelity. The prophet Isaiah gives an example of this when he marvels at a man who cuts down a tree in the forest, and then puts it to two very different uses:
Half of the wood he burns in the fire;
Over it he prepares his meal,
He roasts his meat and eats his fill.
Nothing wrong here. That's the perfectly appropriate use of wood. But it doesn't end there (it rarely does):
From the rest he makes a god, his idol;
He bows down to it and worships
He prays to it and says,
"Save me; you are my god."
The prophet is incredulous. "Doesn't he see what he's doing?," he wonders:
No one stops to think,
No one has the knowledge or understanding to say,
"Half of it I used for fuel;
I even baked bread over its coals,
I roasted meat and ate.
Shall I make a detestable thing from what is left?
Shall I bow down to a block of wood?
He feeds on ashes, a deluded heart misleads him;
He cannot save himself or say,
"Is not this thing in my right hand a lie?" (44:16-17,19-20)
So there you have it: No one stops to think. No one wants to take a good, hard look at what they are really doing, for then we might see the lie. We would see the water hole for the muddy puddle it is. Our idols become the means by which we forget who we truly are and where we truly come from. They numb us.
Source: Ransomed Heart Ministries by John Eldredge
1.09.2017
Eve's Wound
Every woman can tell you about her wound; some came with violence, others came with neglect. Just as every little boy is asking one question, every little girl is, as well. But her question isn’t so much about her strength. No, the deep cry of a little girl’s heart is, Am I lovely? Every woman needs to know that she is exquisite and exotic and chosen. This is core to her identity, the way she bears the image of God. Will you pursue me? Do you delight in me? Will you fight for me? And like every little boy, she has taken a wound as well. The wound strikes right at the core of her heart of beauty and leaves a devastating message with it: No. You’re not beautiful and no one will really fight for you. Like your wound, hers almost always comes at the hand of her father.
A little girl looks to her father to know if she is lovely. The power he has to cripple or to bless is just as significant to her as it is to his son. If he’s a violent man he may defile her verbally or sexually. The stories I’ve heard from women who have been abused would tear your heart out. Janet was molested by her father when she was three; around the age of seven he showed her brothers how to do it. The assault continued until she moved away to college. What is a violated woman to think about her beauty? Am I lovely? The message is, No ... you are dirty. Anything attractive about you is dark and evil. The assault continues as she grows up, through violent men and passive men. She may be stalked; she may be ignored. Either way, her heart is violated and the message is driven farther in: you are not desired; you will not be protected; no one will fight for you. The tower is built brick by brick, and when she’s a grown woman it can be a fortress.
Source: Ransomed Heart Ministries by John Eldredge
A little girl looks to her father to know if she is lovely. The power he has to cripple or to bless is just as significant to her as it is to his son. If he’s a violent man he may defile her verbally or sexually. The stories I’ve heard from women who have been abused would tear your heart out. Janet was molested by her father when she was three; around the age of seven he showed her brothers how to do it. The assault continued until she moved away to college. What is a violated woman to think about her beauty? Am I lovely? The message is, No ... you are dirty. Anything attractive about you is dark and evil. The assault continues as she grows up, through violent men and passive men. She may be stalked; she may be ignored. Either way, her heart is violated and the message is driven farther in: you are not desired; you will not be protected; no one will fight for you. The tower is built brick by brick, and when she’s a grown woman it can be a fortress.
Source: Ransomed Heart Ministries by John Eldredge
1.05.2017
Joy
Why don’t I wake with a joyful heart? Joy was just here. Where did it go?
I began to realize that what I’ve done for most of my life is resign myself to this idea: I’m really not going to have any lasting joy. And from that resignation, I’ve gone on to try and find what I could have. Women do this in marriage. They see that they are not going to have any real intimacy with their husbands, so they lose themselves in soaps or tabloids or romance novels. Men find their work a sort of slow death, so they get a little something in the bar scene each night. Have a few beers with the boys, watch the game. Joy isn’t even a consideration. Settle for relief.
Now, to be fair, joy isn’t exactly falling from the sky these days. We don’t go out to gather it each morning like manna. It’s hard to come by. Joy seems more elusive than winning the lottery. We don’t like to think about it much, because it hurts to allow ourselves to feel how much we long for joy, and how seldom it drops by.
But joy is the point. I know it is. God says that joy is our strength. “The joy of the Lord is your strength” (Nehemiah 8:10). I think, My strength? I don’t even think of it as my occasional boost. But yes, now that I give it some thought, I can see that when I have felt joy I have felt more alive than at any other time in my life. Pull up a memory of one of your best moments. The day at the beach. Your eighth birthday. Remember how you felt. Now think what life would be like if you felt like that on a regular basis. Maybe that’s what being strengthened by joy feels like. It would be good.
Source: Ransomed Heart Ministries by John Eldredge
I began to realize that what I’ve done for most of my life is resign myself to this idea: I’m really not going to have any lasting joy. And from that resignation, I’ve gone on to try and find what I could have. Women do this in marriage. They see that they are not going to have any real intimacy with their husbands, so they lose themselves in soaps or tabloids or romance novels. Men find their work a sort of slow death, so they get a little something in the bar scene each night. Have a few beers with the boys, watch the game. Joy isn’t even a consideration. Settle for relief.
Now, to be fair, joy isn’t exactly falling from the sky these days. We don’t go out to gather it each morning like manna. It’s hard to come by. Joy seems more elusive than winning the lottery. We don’t like to think about it much, because it hurts to allow ourselves to feel how much we long for joy, and how seldom it drops by.
But joy is the point. I know it is. God says that joy is our strength. “The joy of the Lord is your strength” (Nehemiah 8:10). I think, My strength? I don’t even think of it as my occasional boost. But yes, now that I give it some thought, I can see that when I have felt joy I have felt more alive than at any other time in my life. Pull up a memory of one of your best moments. The day at the beach. Your eighth birthday. Remember how you felt. Now think what life would be like if you felt like that on a regular basis. Maybe that’s what being strengthened by joy feels like. It would be good.
Source: Ransomed Heart Ministries by John Eldredge
12.23.2016
Time to Forgive Our Fathers
Time has come for us to forgive our fathers. Paul warns us that unforgiveness and bitterness can wreck our lives and the lives of others (Eph. 4:31; Heb. 12:15). I am sorry to think of all the years my wife endured the anger and bitterness that I redirected at her from my father. As someone has said, forgiveness is setting a prisoner free and then discovering the prisoner was you. I found some help in Bly's experience of forgiving his own father, when he said, "I began to think of him not as someone who had deprived me of love or attention or companionship, but as someone who himself had been deprived, by his father and his mother and by the culture." My father had his own wound that no one ever offered to heal. His father was an alcoholic, too, for a time, and there were some hard years for my dad as a young man just as there were for me.
Now you must understand: Forgiveness is a choice. It is not a feeling, but an act of the will. As Neil Anderson has written, "Don't wait to forgive until you feel like forgiving; you will never get there. Feelings take time to heal after the choice to forgive is made." We allow God to bring the hurt up from our past, for "if your forgiveness doesn't visit the emotional core of your life, it will be incomplete." We acknowledge that it hurt, that it mattered, and we choose to extend forgiveness to our father. This is not saying, "It didn't really matter"; it is not saying, "I probably deserved part of it anyway." Forgiveness says, "It was wrong, it mattered, and I release you."
And then we ask God to father us, and to tell us our true name.
Source: Ransomed Heart Ministries by John Eldredge
Now you must understand: Forgiveness is a choice. It is not a feeling, but an act of the will. As Neil Anderson has written, "Don't wait to forgive until you feel like forgiving; you will never get there. Feelings take time to heal after the choice to forgive is made." We allow God to bring the hurt up from our past, for "if your forgiveness doesn't visit the emotional core of your life, it will be incomplete." We acknowledge that it hurt, that it mattered, and we choose to extend forgiveness to our father. This is not saying, "It didn't really matter"; it is not saying, "I probably deserved part of it anyway." Forgiveness says, "It was wrong, it mattered, and I release you."
And then we ask God to father us, and to tell us our true name.
Source: Ransomed Heart Ministries by John Eldredge
12.19.2016
The Movements of Your Heart
All sorts of awful things can seem to issue from your heart—anger, lust, fear, petty jealousies. If you think it's you, a reflection of what's really going on in your heart, it will disable you. It could stop your journey dead in its tracks. What you've encountered is either the voice of your flesh or an attempt of the Enemy to distress you by throwing all sorts of thoughts your way and blaming you for it. You must proceed on this assumption: your heart is good. If it seems that some foul thing is at work there, say to yourself, Well then—this is not my heart. My heart is good. I reject this. Remember Paul in Romans 7? This is not me. This is not me. And carry on in your journey. Over time you'll grow familiar with the movements of your heart, and who is trying to influence you there.
We do the same with any counsel or word that presents itself as being from God, but contradicts what he has said to us in his written Word. We walk with wisdom and revelation. When I hear something that seems really unwise, I test it again and again before I launch out. The flesh will try to use your "freedom" to get you to do things you shouldn't do. And now that the Enemy knows you are trying to walk with God and tune in to your heart, he'll play the ventriloquist and try to deceive you there. Any "word" or suggestion that brings discouragement, condemnation, accusation—that is not from God. Neither is confusion, nor any counsel that would lead you to disobey what you do know. Reject it all, and carry on in your journey. Yes, of course, God needs to convict us of sin, warn us of wrong movements in the soul—but the voice of God is never condemning (Rom. 8:1), never harsh or accusing. His conviction brings a desire for repentance; Satan's accusation kills our hearts (2 Cor. 7:10).
Source: Ransomed Heart Ministries by John Eldredge
We do the same with any counsel or word that presents itself as being from God, but contradicts what he has said to us in his written Word. We walk with wisdom and revelation. When I hear something that seems really unwise, I test it again and again before I launch out. The flesh will try to use your "freedom" to get you to do things you shouldn't do. And now that the Enemy knows you are trying to walk with God and tune in to your heart, he'll play the ventriloquist and try to deceive you there. Any "word" or suggestion that brings discouragement, condemnation, accusation—that is not from God. Neither is confusion, nor any counsel that would lead you to disobey what you do know. Reject it all, and carry on in your journey. Yes, of course, God needs to convict us of sin, warn us of wrong movements in the soul—but the voice of God is never condemning (Rom. 8:1), never harsh or accusing. His conviction brings a desire for repentance; Satan's accusation kills our hearts (2 Cor. 7:10).
Source: Ransomed Heart Ministries by John Eldredge
11.21.2016
Take Heart
We now are going to war. This is the beginning of the end.
The hour is late, and you are needed. We need your heart.
If there were something more I could do to help you see, I wish to God I could have done it. Tears fill my eyes for fear I have not done enough. You must turn, then, back to myth—tomorrow and the next day and the next. Read the battle of Helm’s Deep; it’s chapter seven of The Two Towers. Watch any of the trilogy of those films. And the opening of Gladiator. That is where we are now. Or, if you can bear it, watch the battle of the Ia Drang Valley in We Were Soldiers. It is so deeply true to what we must face, will face. Linger over the climax of The Prince of Egypt, where God goes to war against Egypt to set his people free. If the images of the Exodus do not move you, I don’t know what will.
We are now far into this epic story that every great myth points to. We have reached the moment where we, too, must find our courage and rise up to recover our hearts and fight for the hearts of others. The hour is late, and much time has been wasted. Aslan is on the move; we must rally to him at the stone table. We must find Gepetto lost at sea. We must ride hard, ride to Helm’s Deep and join the last great battle for Middle Earth. Grab everything God sends you. You’ll need everything that helps you see with the eyes of your heart, including those myths, and the way they illumine for us the words God has given in Scripture, to which “you will do well to pay attention ... as to a light shining in a dark place, until the day dawns and the morning star rises in your hearts” (2 Peter 1:19).
Source: Ransomed Heart Ministries by John Eldredge
The hour is late, and you are needed. We need your heart.
If there were something more I could do to help you see, I wish to God I could have done it. Tears fill my eyes for fear I have not done enough. You must turn, then, back to myth—tomorrow and the next day and the next. Read the battle of Helm’s Deep; it’s chapter seven of The Two Towers. Watch any of the trilogy of those films. And the opening of Gladiator. That is where we are now. Or, if you can bear it, watch the battle of the Ia Drang Valley in We Were Soldiers. It is so deeply true to what we must face, will face. Linger over the climax of The Prince of Egypt, where God goes to war against Egypt to set his people free. If the images of the Exodus do not move you, I don’t know what will.
We are now far into this epic story that every great myth points to. We have reached the moment where we, too, must find our courage and rise up to recover our hearts and fight for the hearts of others. The hour is late, and much time has been wasted. Aslan is on the move; we must rally to him at the stone table. We must find Gepetto lost at sea. We must ride hard, ride to Helm’s Deep and join the last great battle for Middle Earth. Grab everything God sends you. You’ll need everything that helps you see with the eyes of your heart, including those myths, and the way they illumine for us the words God has given in Scripture, to which “you will do well to pay attention ... as to a light shining in a dark place, until the day dawns and the morning star rises in your hearts” (2 Peter 1:19).
Source: Ransomed Heart Ministries by John Eldredge
11.07.2016
By Their Fruits You Will Recognize Them
A basic tool for recognizing if you are under spiritual attack or dealing with foul spirits is to judge the fruit: “By their fruit you will recognize them” (Matt 7:16). Is misunderstanding coming against your friendships? Pray against that. I bring the cross and blood of Jesus Christ against all misunderstanding and command it bound to his throne—by his authority and in his Name. Are you feeling fear? Discouragement? Self-hatred? The fruit of all that is pretty obvious—it is foul, dark, and from hell. Resist it in the Name of Jesus.
I am not being simplistic. I understand that often many other issues are involved: our brokenness, our sin, our history. Sometimes there’s a reason we struggle with certain things. That’s why James says we should first submit to God, then resist the Devil.
For instance, say you keep getting hit hard with a spirit of resentment. Commanding it to leave will not make it go away if you are entertaining resentment in your heart and engaging it in your imagination. If you’ve opened the door to it by agreeing with it in your thoughts. First you have to repent of resentment toward others, yourself, and God. Repent. You seek the healing of Jesus in the wounds that allow resentment to come. You choose to love Christ right here, in this very place. This is how you submit to God. Then you will have the authority to command it to leave because you’ve withdrawn the welcome mat.
Source: Ransomed Heart Ministries by John Eldredge
I am not being simplistic. I understand that often many other issues are involved: our brokenness, our sin, our history. Sometimes there’s a reason we struggle with certain things. That’s why James says we should first submit to God, then resist the Devil.
For instance, say you keep getting hit hard with a spirit of resentment. Commanding it to leave will not make it go away if you are entertaining resentment in your heart and engaging it in your imagination. If you’ve opened the door to it by agreeing with it in your thoughts. First you have to repent of resentment toward others, yourself, and God. Repent. You seek the healing of Jesus in the wounds that allow resentment to come. You choose to love Christ right here, in this very place. This is how you submit to God. Then you will have the authority to command it to leave because you’ve withdrawn the welcome mat.
Source: Ransomed Heart Ministries by John Eldredge
By Their Fruits You Will Recognize Them
A basic tool for recognizing if you are under spiritual attack or dealing with foul spirits is to judge the fruit: “By their fruit you will recognize them” (Matt 7:16). Is misunderstanding coming against your friendships? Pray against that. I bring the cross and blood of Jesus Christ against all misunderstanding and command it bound to his throne—by his authority and in his Name. Are you feeling fear? Discouragement? Self-hatred? The fruit of all that is pretty obvious—it is foul, dark, and from hell. Resist it in the Name of Jesus.
I am not being simplistic. I understand that often many other issues are involved: our brokenness, our sin, our history. Sometimes there’s a reason we struggle with certain things. That’s why James says we should first submit to God, then resist the Devil.
For instance, say you keep getting hit hard with a spirit of resentment. Commanding it to leave will not make it go away if you are entertaining resentment in your heart and engaging it in your imagination. If you’ve opened the door to it by agreeing with it in your thoughts. First you have to repent of resentment toward others, yourself, and God. Repent. You seek the healing of Jesus in the wounds that allow resentment to come. You choose to love Christ right here, in this very place. This is how you submit to God. Then you will have the authority to command it to leave because you’ve withdrawn the welcome mat.
Source: Ransomed Heart Ministries by John Eldredge
I am not being simplistic. I understand that often many other issues are involved: our brokenness, our sin, our history. Sometimes there’s a reason we struggle with certain things. That’s why James says we should first submit to God, then resist the Devil.
For instance, say you keep getting hit hard with a spirit of resentment. Commanding it to leave will not make it go away if you are entertaining resentment in your heart and engaging it in your imagination. If you’ve opened the door to it by agreeing with it in your thoughts. First you have to repent of resentment toward others, yourself, and God. Repent. You seek the healing of Jesus in the wounds that allow resentment to come. You choose to love Christ right here, in this very place. This is how you submit to God. Then you will have the authority to command it to leave because you’ve withdrawn the welcome mat.
Source: Ransomed Heart Ministries by John Eldredge
11.02.2016
Daily Prayer
My dear Lord Jesus, I come to you now to be restored in you, renewed in you, to receive your life and your love and all the grace and mercy I so desperately need this day. I honor you as my Lord, and I surrender every aspect and dimension of my life to you. I give you my spirit, soul, and body, my heart, mind, and will. I cover myself with your blood—my spirit, soul, and body, my heart, mind, and will. I ask your Holy Spirit to restore me in you, renew me in you, and lead this time of prayer. In all that I now pray, I stand in total agreement with your Spirit and with all those praying for me by the Spirit of God and by the Spirit of God alone.
Dearest God, holy and victorious Trinity, you alone are worthy of all my worship, my heart’s devotion, all my praise, all my trust, and all the glory of my life. I love you, I worship you, I give myself over to you in my heart’s search for life. You alone are Life, and you have become my life. I renounce all other gods, every idol, and I give to you, God, the place in my heart and in my life that you truly deserve. This is all about you, and not about me. You are the Hero of this story, and I belong to you. I ask your forgiveness for my every sin. Search me, know me, and reveal to me where you are working in my life, and grant to me the grace of your healing and deliverance and a deep and true repentance.
Heavenly Father, thank you for loving me and choosing me before you made the world. You are my true Father—my creator, redeemer, sustainer, and the true end of all things, including my life. I love you, I trust you, I worship you. I give myself over to you, Father, to be one with you as Jesus is one with you. Thank you for proving your love for me by sending Jesus. I receive him and all his life and all his work which you ordained for me. Thank you for including me in Christ, forgiving me my sins, granting me his righteousness, making me complete in him. Thank you for making me alive with Christ, raising me with him, seating me with him at your right hand, establishing me in his authority, and anointing me with your love and your Spirit and your favor. I receive it all with thanks and give it total claim to my life—my spirit, soul, and body, my heart, mind, and will.
Jesus, thank you for coming to ransom me with your own life. I love you, worship you, trust you. I give myself over to you to be one with you in all things. I receive all the work and triumph of your cross, death, blood, and sacrifice for me, through which my every sin is atoned for, I am ransomed, delivered from the kingdom of darkness, and transferred to your kingdom; my sin nature is removed, my heart circumcised unto God, and every claim being made against me is cancelled and disarmed. I take my place now in your cross and death, dying with you to sin, to my flesh, to this world, to the evil one and his kingdom. I take up the cross and crucify my flesh with all its pride, arrogance, unbelief, and idolatry [and anything else you are currently struggling with]. I put off the old man. Apply to me all the work and triumph in your cross, death, blood, and sacrifice; I receive it with thanks and give it total claim to my spirit, soul, and body, my heart, mind, and will.
Jesus, I also receive you as my Life, and I receive all the work and triumph in your resurrection, through which you have conquered sin, death, judgment, and the evil one. Death has no power over you, nor does any foul thing. And I have been raised with you to a new life, to live your life—dead to sin and alive to God. I take my place now in your resurrection and in your life, and I give my life to you to live your life. I am saved by your life. I reign in life through your life. I receive your hope, love, faith, joy, your goodness, trueness, wisdom, power, and strength. Apply to me all the work and triumph in your resurrection; I receive it with thanks, and I give it total claim to my spirit, soul, and body, my heart, mind, and will.
Jesus, I also sincerely receive you as my authority, rule, and dominion, my everlasting victory against Satan and his kingdom, and my ability to bring your Kingdom at all times and in every way. I receive all the work and triumph in your ascension, through which Satan has been judged and cast down, and all authority in heaven and on earth has been given to you. All authority in the heavens and on this earth has been given to you, Jesus, and you are worthy to receive all glory and honor, power and dominion, now and forever. I take my place now in your authority and in your throne, through which I have been raised with you to the right hand of the Father and established in your authority. I give myself to you, to reign with you always. Apply to me all the work and triumph in your authority and your throne; I receive it with thanks and I give it total claim to my spirit, soul, and body, my heart, mind, and will.
I now bring the authority, rule, and dominion of the Lord Jesus Christ and the full work of Christ over my life today: over my home, my household, my work, over all my kingdom and domain. I bring the authority of the Lord Jesus Christ and the full work of Christ against every evil power coming against me—against every foul spirit, every foul power and device. [You might need to name them—what has been attacking you?] I cut them off in the name of the Lord; I bind and banish them from me and from my kingdom now, in the mighty name of Jesus Christ. I also bring the full work of Christ between me and every person, and I allow only the love of God and only the Spirit of God between us.
Holy Spirit, thank you for coming. I love you, I worship you, I trust you. I receive all the work and triumph in Pentecost, through which you have come, you have clothed me with power from on high, sealed me in Christ, become my union with the Father and the Son, the Spirit of truth in me, the life of God in me, my counselor, comforter, strength, and guide. I honor you as Lord, and I fully give to you every aspect and dimension of my spirit, soul, and body, my heart, mind, and will—to be filled with you, to walk in step with you in all things. Fill me afresh, Holy Spirit. Restore my union with the Father and the Son. Lead me into all truth, anoint me for all of my life and walk and calling, and lead me deeper into Jesus today. I receive you with thanks, and I give you total claim to my life.
Heavenly Father, thank you for granting to me every spiritual blessing in Christ Jesus. I claim the riches in Christ Jesus over my life today. I bring the blood of Christ once more over my spirit, soul, and body, over my heart, mind, and will. I put on the full armor of God: the belt of truth, breastplate of righteousness, shoes of the gospel, helmet of salvation; I take up the shield of faith and sword of the Spirit, and I choose to be strong in the Lord and in the strength of your might, to pray at all times in the Spirit.
Jesus, thank you for your angels. I summon them in the name of Jesus Christ and instruct them to destroy all that is raised against me, to establish your Kingdom over me, to guard me day and night. I ask you to send forth your Spirit to raise up prayer and intercession for me. I now call forth the kingdom of God throughout my home, my household, my kingdom, and domain in the authority of the Lord Jesus Christ, giving all glory and honor and thanks to him. In Jesus’ name, amen.
Source: Ransomed Heart Ministries by John Eldredge
Dearest God, holy and victorious Trinity, you alone are worthy of all my worship, my heart’s devotion, all my praise, all my trust, and all the glory of my life. I love you, I worship you, I give myself over to you in my heart’s search for life. You alone are Life, and you have become my life. I renounce all other gods, every idol, and I give to you, God, the place in my heart and in my life that you truly deserve. This is all about you, and not about me. You are the Hero of this story, and I belong to you. I ask your forgiveness for my every sin. Search me, know me, and reveal to me where you are working in my life, and grant to me the grace of your healing and deliverance and a deep and true repentance.
Heavenly Father, thank you for loving me and choosing me before you made the world. You are my true Father—my creator, redeemer, sustainer, and the true end of all things, including my life. I love you, I trust you, I worship you. I give myself over to you, Father, to be one with you as Jesus is one with you. Thank you for proving your love for me by sending Jesus. I receive him and all his life and all his work which you ordained for me. Thank you for including me in Christ, forgiving me my sins, granting me his righteousness, making me complete in him. Thank you for making me alive with Christ, raising me with him, seating me with him at your right hand, establishing me in his authority, and anointing me with your love and your Spirit and your favor. I receive it all with thanks and give it total claim to my life—my spirit, soul, and body, my heart, mind, and will.
Jesus, thank you for coming to ransom me with your own life. I love you, worship you, trust you. I give myself over to you to be one with you in all things. I receive all the work and triumph of your cross, death, blood, and sacrifice for me, through which my every sin is atoned for, I am ransomed, delivered from the kingdom of darkness, and transferred to your kingdom; my sin nature is removed, my heart circumcised unto God, and every claim being made against me is cancelled and disarmed. I take my place now in your cross and death, dying with you to sin, to my flesh, to this world, to the evil one and his kingdom. I take up the cross and crucify my flesh with all its pride, arrogance, unbelief, and idolatry [and anything else you are currently struggling with]. I put off the old man. Apply to me all the work and triumph in your cross, death, blood, and sacrifice; I receive it with thanks and give it total claim to my spirit, soul, and body, my heart, mind, and will.
Jesus, I also receive you as my Life, and I receive all the work and triumph in your resurrection, through which you have conquered sin, death, judgment, and the evil one. Death has no power over you, nor does any foul thing. And I have been raised with you to a new life, to live your life—dead to sin and alive to God. I take my place now in your resurrection and in your life, and I give my life to you to live your life. I am saved by your life. I reign in life through your life. I receive your hope, love, faith, joy, your goodness, trueness, wisdom, power, and strength. Apply to me all the work and triumph in your resurrection; I receive it with thanks, and I give it total claim to my spirit, soul, and body, my heart, mind, and will.
Jesus, I also sincerely receive you as my authority, rule, and dominion, my everlasting victory against Satan and his kingdom, and my ability to bring your Kingdom at all times and in every way. I receive all the work and triumph in your ascension, through which Satan has been judged and cast down, and all authority in heaven and on earth has been given to you. All authority in the heavens and on this earth has been given to you, Jesus, and you are worthy to receive all glory and honor, power and dominion, now and forever. I take my place now in your authority and in your throne, through which I have been raised with you to the right hand of the Father and established in your authority. I give myself to you, to reign with you always. Apply to me all the work and triumph in your authority and your throne; I receive it with thanks and I give it total claim to my spirit, soul, and body, my heart, mind, and will.
I now bring the authority, rule, and dominion of the Lord Jesus Christ and the full work of Christ over my life today: over my home, my household, my work, over all my kingdom and domain. I bring the authority of the Lord Jesus Christ and the full work of Christ against every evil power coming against me—against every foul spirit, every foul power and device. [You might need to name them—what has been attacking you?] I cut them off in the name of the Lord; I bind and banish them from me and from my kingdom now, in the mighty name of Jesus Christ. I also bring the full work of Christ between me and every person, and I allow only the love of God and only the Spirit of God between us.
Holy Spirit, thank you for coming. I love you, I worship you, I trust you. I receive all the work and triumph in Pentecost, through which you have come, you have clothed me with power from on high, sealed me in Christ, become my union with the Father and the Son, the Spirit of truth in me, the life of God in me, my counselor, comforter, strength, and guide. I honor you as Lord, and I fully give to you every aspect and dimension of my spirit, soul, and body, my heart, mind, and will—to be filled with you, to walk in step with you in all things. Fill me afresh, Holy Spirit. Restore my union with the Father and the Son. Lead me into all truth, anoint me for all of my life and walk and calling, and lead me deeper into Jesus today. I receive you with thanks, and I give you total claim to my life.
Heavenly Father, thank you for granting to me every spiritual blessing in Christ Jesus. I claim the riches in Christ Jesus over my life today. I bring the blood of Christ once more over my spirit, soul, and body, over my heart, mind, and will. I put on the full armor of God: the belt of truth, breastplate of righteousness, shoes of the gospel, helmet of salvation; I take up the shield of faith and sword of the Spirit, and I choose to be strong in the Lord and in the strength of your might, to pray at all times in the Spirit.
Jesus, thank you for your angels. I summon them in the name of Jesus Christ and instruct them to destroy all that is raised against me, to establish your Kingdom over me, to guard me day and night. I ask you to send forth your Spirit to raise up prayer and intercession for me. I now call forth the kingdom of God throughout my home, my household, my kingdom, and domain in the authority of the Lord Jesus Christ, giving all glory and honor and thanks to him. In Jesus’ name, amen.
Source: Ransomed Heart Ministries by John Eldredge
10.20.2016
A Way Things Work
Why do we pray, “in Jesus’ name”?
The phrase gets tacked onto the end of many prayers, but I think it has about as much meaning to us as “amen.” Amen does not mean, “That’s it...I’m done now,” the little period at the end of my prayer. Amen (ah-mane) is an ancient Hebrew word that was transliterated (kept virtually intact) into New Testament Greek. It is a pronouncement, firm and authoritative: “Yes! So be it! Let this be done!” Amen is a declaration; in that sense, it is like a command. Or it once was; now it has the emotional force of “talk to you later” at the end of a phone call.
“In Jesus’ name” is even more of a command—far, far more declarative and final, like the drop of a judge’s gavel. We are using the authority of the ruler of all galaxies and realms to enforce the power of what we have just prayed. We have been exploring the way things work in effective prayer; as we look deeper into the spiritual realm, we discover that the whole thing runs on authority. It is the secret to the kingdom of God, and one of the essential secrets to prayer that works.
When Jesus had entered Capernaum, a centurion came to him, asking for help. “Lord,” he said, “my servant lies at home paralyzed and in terrible suffering.” Jesus said to him, “I will go and heal him.” The centurion replied, “Lord, I do not deserve to have you come under my roof. But just say the word, and my servant will be healed. For I myself am a man under authority, with soldiers under me. I tell this one, ‘Go,’ and he goes; and that one, ‘Come,’ and he comes. I say to my servant, ‘Do this,’ and he does it.” When Jesus heard this, he was astonished and said to those following him, “I tell you the truth, I have not found anyone in Israel with such great faith.”
(Matt. 8:5–10)
I’m guessing it took something pretty remarkable to “astonish” Jesus (he was astonished). Did you notice what it was? The centurion understood authority. “Just say the word from where you are, and my servant will be healed! I know, because I am under the authority of my superior officers and I have authority over my soldiers. I only need to say, ‘Go,’ and they go, or ‘Come,’ and they come”
(vv. 8–9 NLT)
Remember—there is a way things work.
Source: Ransomed Heart Ministries by John Eldredge
The phrase gets tacked onto the end of many prayers, but I think it has about as much meaning to us as “amen.” Amen does not mean, “That’s it...I’m done now,” the little period at the end of my prayer. Amen (ah-mane) is an ancient Hebrew word that was transliterated (kept virtually intact) into New Testament Greek. It is a pronouncement, firm and authoritative: “Yes! So be it! Let this be done!” Amen is a declaration; in that sense, it is like a command. Or it once was; now it has the emotional force of “talk to you later” at the end of a phone call.
“In Jesus’ name” is even more of a command—far, far more declarative and final, like the drop of a judge’s gavel. We are using the authority of the ruler of all galaxies and realms to enforce the power of what we have just prayed. We have been exploring the way things work in effective prayer; as we look deeper into the spiritual realm, we discover that the whole thing runs on authority. It is the secret to the kingdom of God, and one of the essential secrets to prayer that works.
When Jesus had entered Capernaum, a centurion came to him, asking for help. “Lord,” he said, “my servant lies at home paralyzed and in terrible suffering.” Jesus said to him, “I will go and heal him.” The centurion replied, “Lord, I do not deserve to have you come under my roof. But just say the word, and my servant will be healed. For I myself am a man under authority, with soldiers under me. I tell this one, ‘Go,’ and he goes; and that one, ‘Come,’ and he comes. I say to my servant, ‘Do this,’ and he does it.” When Jesus heard this, he was astonished and said to those following him, “I tell you the truth, I have not found anyone in Israel with such great faith.”
(Matt. 8:5–10)
I’m guessing it took something pretty remarkable to “astonish” Jesus (he was astonished). Did you notice what it was? The centurion understood authority. “Just say the word from where you are, and my servant will be healed! I know, because I am under the authority of my superior officers and I have authority over my soldiers. I only need to say, ‘Go,’ and they go, or ‘Come,’ and they come”
(vv. 8–9 NLT)
Remember—there is a way things work.
Source: Ransomed Heart Ministries by John Eldredge
7.07.2016
Panting
Compare the shriveled life held up as a model of Christian maturity with the life revealed in the book of Psalms:
You have made known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand. (16:11)
As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, O God. My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. When can I go and meet with God? (42:1–2)
O God, you are my God, earnestly I seek you;
My soul thirsts for you, my body longs for you,
in a dry and weary land, where there is no water. (63:1)
Ask yourself, could this person be promoted to a position of leadership in my church? Heavens, no. He is far too unstable, to passionate, too desirous. It’s all about pleasure and desire and thirst. And David, who wrote most of the psalms, was called by God a “man after his own heart” (1 Sam. 13:14).
Christianity has nothing to say to the person who is completely happy with the way things are. Its message is for those who hunger and thirst—for those who desire life as it was meant to be. Why does Jesus appeal to desire? Because it is essential to his goal: bringing us life. He heals the fellow at the pool of Bethesda, by the way. The two blind men get their sight, and the woman at the well finds the love she has been seeking. Reflecting on these events, the apostle John looked at what Jesus offered and what he delivered and said: “He who has the Son has life” (1 John 5:12).
Source: Ransomed Heart Ministries by John Eldredge
You have made known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand. (16:11)
As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, O God. My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. When can I go and meet with God? (42:1–2)
O God, you are my God, earnestly I seek you;
My soul thirsts for you, my body longs for you,
in a dry and weary land, where there is no water. (63:1)
Ask yourself, could this person be promoted to a position of leadership in my church? Heavens, no. He is far too unstable, to passionate, too desirous. It’s all about pleasure and desire and thirst. And David, who wrote most of the psalms, was called by God a “man after his own heart” (1 Sam. 13:14).
Christianity has nothing to say to the person who is completely happy with the way things are. Its message is for those who hunger and thirst—for those who desire life as it was meant to be. Why does Jesus appeal to desire? Because it is essential to his goal: bringing us life. He heals the fellow at the pool of Bethesda, by the way. The two blind men get their sight, and the woman at the well finds the love she has been seeking. Reflecting on these events, the apostle John looked at what Jesus offered and what he delivered and said: “He who has the Son has life” (1 John 5:12).
Source: Ransomed Heart Ministries by John Eldredge
4.06.2016
Forewarned Is Forearmed
Many people think the theme of war ends with the Old Testament. Not at all. Jesus says, "I did not come to bring peace, but a sword" (Matt. 10:34). In fact, his birth involved another battle in heaven (Rev. 12:1-5, 7-8, 17). The birth of Christ was an act of war, an invasion. The Enemy knew it and tried to kill him as a babe (Matt. 2:13). The whole life of Christ is marked by battle and confrontation. He kicks out demons with a stern command. He rebukes a fever and it leaves Peter's mother-in-law. He rebukes a storm and it subsides. He confronts the Pharisees time and again to set God's people free from legalism. In a loud voice he wakes Lazarus from the dead. He descends to hell, wrestles the keys of hell and death from Satan, and leads a train of captives free (Eph. 4:8-9; Rev. 1:18). And when he returns, I might point out, Jesus will come mounted on a steed of war, with his robe dipped in blood, armed for battle (Rev. 19:11-15).
War is not just one among many themes in the Bible. It is the backdrop for the whole Story, the context for everything else. God is at war. He is trampling out the vineyards where the grapes of wrath are stored. And what is he fighting for? Our freedom and restoration. The glory of God is man fully alive. In the meantime, Paul says, arm yourselves, and the first piece of equipment he urges us to don is the belt of truth (Eph. 6:10-18). We arm ourselves by getting a good, solid grip on our situation, by getting some clarity on the battle over our lives. God's intentions toward us are life; those intentions are opposed. Forewarned is forearmed, as the saying goes.
Source: Ransomed Heart Ministries by John Eldredge
WAKING THE DEAD
War is not just one among many themes in the Bible. It is the backdrop for the whole Story, the context for everything else. God is at war. He is trampling out the vineyards where the grapes of wrath are stored. And what is he fighting for? Our freedom and restoration. The glory of God is man fully alive. In the meantime, Paul says, arm yourselves, and the first piece of equipment he urges us to don is the belt of truth (Eph. 6:10-18). We arm ourselves by getting a good, solid grip on our situation, by getting some clarity on the battle over our lives. God's intentions toward us are life; those intentions are opposed. Forewarned is forearmed, as the saying goes.
Source: Ransomed Heart Ministries by John Eldredge
WAKING THE DEAD
2.03.2016
Shelter
You are a hiding place for me; you preserve me from trouble; you surround me with glad cries of deliverance.
Psalm 32:7 (NRS)
Thank you, Lord, for being our deliverer, our shelter, our healer and rescuer.
Source: The Daily Verse by Kat Davis
Psalm 32:7 (NRS)
Thank you, Lord, for being our deliverer, our shelter, our healer and rescuer.
Source: The Daily Verse by Kat Davis
1.20.2016
The Warrior Heart
I have in my files a copy of a letter written by Major Sullivan Ballou, a Union officer in the 2nd Rhode Island. He writes to his wife on the eve of the Battle of Bull Run, a battle he senses will be his last. He speaks tenderly to her of his undying love, of "the memories of blissful moments I have spent with you." Ballou mourns the thought that he must give up "the hope of future years, when, God willing, we might still have lived and loved together, and seen our sons grown up to honorable manhood around us." Yet in spite of his love the battle calls and he cannot turn from it. "I have no misgivings about, or lack of confidence in the cause in which I am engaged, and my courage does not halt or falter . . . how great a debt we owe to those who went before us through the blood and sufferings of the Revolution . . . Sarah, my love for you is deathless, it seems to bind me with mighty cables that nothing but Omnipotence could break" and yet a greater cause "comes over me like a strong wind and bears me unresistably on with all these chains to the battle field."
A man must have a battle to fight, a great mission to his life that involves and yet transcends even home and family. He must have a cause to which he is devoted even unto death, for this is written into the fabric of his being. Listen carefully now: You do. That is why God created you—to be his intimate ally, to join him in the Great Battle. You have a specific place in the line, a mission God made you for.
Source: Ransomed Heart Ministries by John Eldredge
A man must have a battle to fight, a great mission to his life that involves and yet transcends even home and family. He must have a cause to which he is devoted even unto death, for this is written into the fabric of his being. Listen carefully now: You do. That is why God created you—to be his intimate ally, to join him in the Great Battle. You have a specific place in the line, a mission God made you for.
Source: Ransomed Heart Ministries by John Eldredge
12.03.2015
The Warrior Generation This World Needs
The book “Killing Lions” is a conversation between John and Sam Eldredge about the trials young men face.
[John] I believe you young men are the warrior generation this world needs. I believe you will see very trying times, perhaps even the end of the age. The timing of Halo, the film adaptations of The Lord of the Rings, the resurgence of superheroes in film, and all the games and movies like these is curious indeed. Their epic, urgent, heroic battle cry was spoken at this moment in history—your moment. Perhaps it was orchestrated by an unseen hand. You have the strength and the courage to handle what is before you. You do. But you must not try to play Switzerland in this savage war; there is no neutral ground. The only safe move is to boldly take sides with the kingdom of God, take your position in the line. Make the decision to be fully in—to become the warrior, live in the larger story—and everything else will fall into place. “All things shall be added unto you.” Really.
As I think back on my years as a young man, the words I longed to hear were the very words I still eagerly listen for today:
You’re going to be okay.
You’re going to find your way.
You are not alone.
[Sam] That’s really, really good. It’s exactly what I need to hear. Maybe I’ll tape those words to my bathroom mirror, because they are true, they are our birthright as sons of the Living One. “I’m going to be okay. I’m going to find my way. I am not alone.’’
Source: Ransomed Heart Ministries by John Eldredge
[John] I believe you young men are the warrior generation this world needs. I believe you will see very trying times, perhaps even the end of the age. The timing of Halo, the film adaptations of The Lord of the Rings, the resurgence of superheroes in film, and all the games and movies like these is curious indeed. Their epic, urgent, heroic battle cry was spoken at this moment in history—your moment. Perhaps it was orchestrated by an unseen hand. You have the strength and the courage to handle what is before you. You do. But you must not try to play Switzerland in this savage war; there is no neutral ground. The only safe move is to boldly take sides with the kingdom of God, take your position in the line. Make the decision to be fully in—to become the warrior, live in the larger story—and everything else will fall into place. “All things shall be added unto you.” Really.
As I think back on my years as a young man, the words I longed to hear were the very words I still eagerly listen for today:
You’re going to be okay.
You’re going to find your way.
You are not alone.
[Sam] That’s really, really good. It’s exactly what I need to hear. Maybe I’ll tape those words to my bathroom mirror, because they are true, they are our birthright as sons of the Living One. “I’m going to be okay. I’m going to find my way. I am not alone.’’
Source: Ransomed Heart Ministries by John Eldredge
11.23.2015
Integrity
The man of integrity walks securely, but he who takes crooked paths will be found out.
Proverbs 10:9 (NIV)
Have integrity in all you do.
Source: The Daily Verse by Kat Davis
Proverbs 10:9 (NIV)
Have integrity in all you do.
Source: The Daily Verse by Kat Davis
10.28.2015
When Your Child is Afraid
I was just a reed of a thing when I was a kid, all sinew and strength, lean muscle, no fat. I moved and climbed and ran all the time. At a backyard party when I was five, I climbed a tree fort about six feet up, and promptly jumped off. I wanted to feel what it was like to fly. I still remember the cruel ground rushing up to meet me, and the angry expulsion of every bit of air from my lungs as the soles of my feet crashed into it. I remember the backyard growing immediately silent, all eyes on me. I was embarrassed and proud at the same time.
I always wore a belt back then, cinching it up as tight as it would go, like luggage on top of a station wagon. I remember asking my mom to make extra holes in my belts so they could be even tighter. This worried her so much that she took me to the doctor to see if I could cause any permanent damage by wearing my belt so tight. When he assured my mom that I wasn’t going to rupture my spleen, I kept right on wearing that belt as tight as possible.
I wonder what I was trying to keep in? I wonder what I was trying to secure? I wonder what I was afraid would float away if I didn’t? And I wonder if my mom ever stopped worrying?
I stuttered as a kid, unable to put two words together, groping for words that got stuck deep down inside of me. I remember feeling very shy around adults, and having a very short fuse around certain kids. One time, my third grade friend Jimmy decided to steal the basketball I was using to practice foul shots alone at recess. The rage that exploded out of me was volcanic; I tackled him and cried embarrassed tears. The next thing I knew, we were in the principal’s office, and I couldn’t stop crying, while he grinned at me.
I suppose I might have cinched my belt a little tighter after that. I don’t remember telling my parents about it; I didn’t know how. I just remember feeling so very stupid for crying in front of Jimmy.
And now I have a reed of a child of my own; all muscle and strength. He doesn’t stutter, and he doesn’t wear a belt, but he’s cinching things in already. When his own raging storms rain down on us, they seem to come out of nowhere, and he doesn’t know what to do with them. And as a parent, it’s even harder to watch him go through it than I remember it feeling when I went through it.
What do you do when your child is afraid?
We hate to see our children sad, hurt, upset, not make the team, not get first chair, or experience their first betrayal from another friend. When we see them bravely walking in from the bus, having held it together all day, only to fall apart when they’re around you, our hearts can break at the same time that we feel overwhelmed and exhausted by all the drama. Their trauma becomes traumatic to us; we love them so much that we experience their pain uniquely. The membrane that separates us from our kids is very thin. Sometimes, this is good, and sometimes it’s not. Sometimes it causes us to be a champion for them in ways that are helpful and healing; other times we step in to protect far too soon, squashing an opportunity for them to grow and become because of their pain.
I don’t know what to do when my child is afraid. I’m not always sure when I’m supposed to step in and relieve the pain and when I’m supposed to walk alongside them and help them work it out on their own. I’m trying to learn, but it’s so hard.
Last night, after a particularly hard emotional storm, I was helping my reed of a son do his homework. One of the assignments was to list some character traits of family members, and examples of why they picked those traits. He picked me and one of his brothers. For me, he picked loving and helpful. Under loving, the examples he picked were: He tells me he loves me; He hugs me; He listens to me.
So, parents, when you’re not sure what to do, let’s start here: Tell your child you love them. Hug them as much as you can. And listen to them.
In it together.
Source: The Actual Pastor by Steve Wiens
I always wore a belt back then, cinching it up as tight as it would go, like luggage on top of a station wagon. I remember asking my mom to make extra holes in my belts so they could be even tighter. This worried her so much that she took me to the doctor to see if I could cause any permanent damage by wearing my belt so tight. When he assured my mom that I wasn’t going to rupture my spleen, I kept right on wearing that belt as tight as possible.
I wonder what I was trying to keep in? I wonder what I was trying to secure? I wonder what I was afraid would float away if I didn’t? And I wonder if my mom ever stopped worrying?
I stuttered as a kid, unable to put two words together, groping for words that got stuck deep down inside of me. I remember feeling very shy around adults, and having a very short fuse around certain kids. One time, my third grade friend Jimmy decided to steal the basketball I was using to practice foul shots alone at recess. The rage that exploded out of me was volcanic; I tackled him and cried embarrassed tears. The next thing I knew, we were in the principal’s office, and I couldn’t stop crying, while he grinned at me.
I suppose I might have cinched my belt a little tighter after that. I don’t remember telling my parents about it; I didn’t know how. I just remember feeling so very stupid for crying in front of Jimmy.
And now I have a reed of a child of my own; all muscle and strength. He doesn’t stutter, and he doesn’t wear a belt, but he’s cinching things in already. When his own raging storms rain down on us, they seem to come out of nowhere, and he doesn’t know what to do with them. And as a parent, it’s even harder to watch him go through it than I remember it feeling when I went through it.
What do you do when your child is afraid?
We hate to see our children sad, hurt, upset, not make the team, not get first chair, or experience their first betrayal from another friend. When we see them bravely walking in from the bus, having held it together all day, only to fall apart when they’re around you, our hearts can break at the same time that we feel overwhelmed and exhausted by all the drama. Their trauma becomes traumatic to us; we love them so much that we experience their pain uniquely. The membrane that separates us from our kids is very thin. Sometimes, this is good, and sometimes it’s not. Sometimes it causes us to be a champion for them in ways that are helpful and healing; other times we step in to protect far too soon, squashing an opportunity for them to grow and become because of their pain.
I don’t know what to do when my child is afraid. I’m not always sure when I’m supposed to step in and relieve the pain and when I’m supposed to walk alongside them and help them work it out on their own. I’m trying to learn, but it’s so hard.
Last night, after a particularly hard emotional storm, I was helping my reed of a son do his homework. One of the assignments was to list some character traits of family members, and examples of why they picked those traits. He picked me and one of his brothers. For me, he picked loving and helpful. Under loving, the examples he picked were: He tells me he loves me; He hugs me; He listens to me.
So, parents, when you’re not sure what to do, let’s start here: Tell your child you love them. Hug them as much as you can. And listen to them.
In it together.
Source: The Actual Pastor by Steve Wiens
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