Over the years we've come to see that the only thing more tragic than the things that have happened to us is what we have done with them.
Words were said, painful words. Things were done, awful things. And they shaped us. Something inside us shifted. We embraced the messages of our wounds. We accepted a twisted view of ourselves. And from that we chose a way of relating to our world. We made a vow never to be in that place again. We adopted strategies to protect ourselves from being hurt again. A woman that is living out of a broken, wounded heart is a woman who is living a self-protective life. She may not be aware of it, but it is true. It's our way of trying to "save ourselves."
We also developed ways of trying to get something of the love our hearts cried out for. The ache is there. Our desperate need for love and affirmation, our thirst for some taste of romance and adventure and beauty is there. So we turned to boys or to food or to romance novels; we lost ourselves in our work or at church or in some sort of service. All this adds up to the woman we are today. Much of what we call our "personalities" is actually the mosaic of our choices for self-protection plus our plan to get something of the love we were created for.
The problem is, our plan has nothing to do with God.
The wounds we received and the messages they brought formed a sort of unholy alliance with our fallen nature as women. From Eve we received a deep mistrust in the heart of God toward us. Clearly, he's holding out on us. We'll just have to arrange for the life we want. We will control our world. But there is also an ache deep within, an ache for intimacy and for life. We'll have to find a way to fill it. A way that does not require us to trust anyone, especially God. A way that will not require vulnerability.
(Captivating , 74-75)
Source: Ransomed Heart Ministries by John Eldredge
12.30.2010
12.27.2010
John Eldredge: Walking with God
Psalm 23, He leads us away, to a quiet place, to restore the soul. Our first choice is to go with him there-to slow down, unplug, accept the invitation to come aside. You won't find healing in the midst of the Matrix. We need time in the presence of God. This often comes on the heels of God's raising some issue in our hearts or after we've just relived an event that takes us straight to that broken place, or waking as I did to a raw emotion.
Teach me your way, O LORD,
and I will walk in your truth;
give me an undivided heart,
that I may fear your name.
I will praise you, O Lord my God, with all my heart;
I will glorify your name forever. (Ps. 86:11-12)
Source: Ransomed Heart Ministries by John Eldredge
Teach me your way, O LORD,
and I will walk in your truth;
give me an undivided heart,
that I may fear your name.
I will praise you, O Lord my God, with all my heart;
I will glorify your name forever. (Ps. 86:11-12)
Source: Ransomed Heart Ministries by John Eldredge
12.20.2010
Expecting A Baby
“He [Joseph] went there to register with Mary, who was pledged to be married to him and was expecting a child. While they were there, the time came for the baby to be born, and she gave birth to her firstborn, a son. She wrapped him in cloths and placed him in a manger, because there was no room for them in the inn.” Luke 2:5-7
An expecting wife needs extra sensitivity, and a strong supportive husband. She is emotionally vulnerable, and physically overwhelmed at times. As with Mary, there may be some uncertainty of the ultimate outcome, but she trusts the Lord to care for her and her baby. The circumstances are challenging when you are away from the comforts of home and its familiar feel. Pregnancy is a transition that requires trust in the Lord.
Husbands, your expecting wife needs you to step up like Joseph and provide leadership. This is not the time to lose faith, or become frightened. Perfect love casts out fear, so overcome any apprehensions with the Christ-like love that dwells in your mind and heart. See pregnancy as a prayerful process to accomplish the plan of Almighty God, as expecting moms and dads can expect great things from Him. Hannah and her husband Elkanah gave God the glory for the blessing of their son Samuel:
“Early the next morning they arose and worshiped before the LORD and then went back to their home at Ramah. Elkanah made love to his wife Hannah, and the LORD remembered her. So in the course of time Hannah became pregnant and gave birth to a son. She named him Samuel, saying, “Because I asked the LORD for him” (1 Samuel 1:19-20).
Furthermore, a husband’s leadership needs to provide protection for his wife. Accompany her, as Joseph did, to new places and people who might take advantage of your sweet spirited spouse. It makes your woman feel safe and secure when you buffer her from bad people, or strangers with unseemly motives. Stay with her, and see her through stressful situations, like family members who can be awkward and insensitive toward your bride.
Intervene and defend your wife if your children, parents or siblings show disrespect, ever how subtle it might be. God in marriage made you one flesh, so if she is offended, you are offended. Of course prayerfully confront all parties in a spirit of grace and humility, but with clarity. An expecting wife is beautiful to behold, as she brings forth an innocent infant woven in her womb by God. Be there for her labor of love for the Lord, and for His gift of a precious little one to love. Mary gave God the glory for her baby Jesus!
“The LORD has done this, and it is marvelous in our eyes” (Psalm 118:23).
Who can I support and pray for who is expecting a baby? How can I thank my heavenly Father for His gift of baby Jesus to me and to mankind?
Related Readings: Isaiah 7:14; Micah 5:2; John 16:21; I John 4:18
An expecting wife needs extra sensitivity, and a strong supportive husband. She is emotionally vulnerable, and physically overwhelmed at times. As with Mary, there may be some uncertainty of the ultimate outcome, but she trusts the Lord to care for her and her baby. The circumstances are challenging when you are away from the comforts of home and its familiar feel. Pregnancy is a transition that requires trust in the Lord.
Husbands, your expecting wife needs you to step up like Joseph and provide leadership. This is not the time to lose faith, or become frightened. Perfect love casts out fear, so overcome any apprehensions with the Christ-like love that dwells in your mind and heart. See pregnancy as a prayerful process to accomplish the plan of Almighty God, as expecting moms and dads can expect great things from Him. Hannah and her husband Elkanah gave God the glory for the blessing of their son Samuel:
“Early the next morning they arose and worshiped before the LORD and then went back to their home at Ramah. Elkanah made love to his wife Hannah, and the LORD remembered her. So in the course of time Hannah became pregnant and gave birth to a son. She named him Samuel, saying, “Because I asked the LORD for him” (1 Samuel 1:19-20).
Furthermore, a husband’s leadership needs to provide protection for his wife. Accompany her, as Joseph did, to new places and people who might take advantage of your sweet spirited spouse. It makes your woman feel safe and secure when you buffer her from bad people, or strangers with unseemly motives. Stay with her, and see her through stressful situations, like family members who can be awkward and insensitive toward your bride.
Intervene and defend your wife if your children, parents or siblings show disrespect, ever how subtle it might be. God in marriage made you one flesh, so if she is offended, you are offended. Of course prayerfully confront all parties in a spirit of grace and humility, but with clarity. An expecting wife is beautiful to behold, as she brings forth an innocent infant woven in her womb by God. Be there for her labor of love for the Lord, and for His gift of a precious little one to love. Mary gave God the glory for her baby Jesus!
“The LORD has done this, and it is marvelous in our eyes” (Psalm 118:23).
Who can I support and pray for who is expecting a baby? How can I thank my heavenly Father for His gift of baby Jesus to me and to mankind?
Related Readings: Isaiah 7:14; Micah 5:2; John 16:21; I John 4:18
11.03.2010
It Will Be Messy
The family is like a little kingdom, and, like most other little kingdoms, is generally in a state of something resembling anarchy.
Chesterton could have been talking about a little fellowship (our true family, because it is the Family of God). It is a royal mess. I will not whitewash this. It is disruptive. Going to church with hundreds of other people to sit and hear a sermon doesn't ask much of you. It certainly will never expose you. That's why most folks prefer it. Because community will. It will reveal where you have yet to become holy, right at the very moment you are so keenly aware of how they have yet to become holy. It will bring you close and you will be seen and you will be known and therein lies the power and therein lies the danger. Aren't there moments when all those little companies, in all those stories, hang by a thread? Galadriel says to Frodo, "Your quest stands upon the edge of a knife. Stray but a little and it will fail, to the ruin of all. Yet hope remains while the Company is true."
We've experienced incredible disappointments in our fellowship. We have, every last one of us, hurt one another. Sometimes deeply. Last year there was a night when Stasi and I laid out a vision for where we thought things should be going - our life-long dream for redemptive community. We hoped the Company would leap to it with loud "Hurrahs! Hurrah for John and Stasi!" Far from it. Their response was more on the level of blank stares. Our dream was mishandled - badly. Stasi was sick to her stomach; she wanted to leave the room and throw up. I was stunned. Disappointed. I felt the dive towards a total loss of heart. The following day I could feel my heart being pulled towards resentment. It's moments like that which usually toll the beginning of the end for most attempts at community.
(Waking The Dead, 197 )
Chesterton could have been talking about a little fellowship (our true family, because it is the Family of God). It is a royal mess. I will not whitewash this. It is disruptive. Going to church with hundreds of other people to sit and hear a sermon doesn't ask much of you. It certainly will never expose you. That's why most folks prefer it. Because community will. It will reveal where you have yet to become holy, right at the very moment you are so keenly aware of how they have yet to become holy. It will bring you close and you will be seen and you will be known and therein lies the power and therein lies the danger. Aren't there moments when all those little companies, in all those stories, hang by a thread? Galadriel says to Frodo, "Your quest stands upon the edge of a knife. Stray but a little and it will fail, to the ruin of all. Yet hope remains while the Company is true."
We've experienced incredible disappointments in our fellowship. We have, every last one of us, hurt one another. Sometimes deeply. Last year there was a night when Stasi and I laid out a vision for where we thought things should be going - our life-long dream for redemptive community. We hoped the Company would leap to it with loud "Hurrahs! Hurrah for John and Stasi!" Far from it. Their response was more on the level of blank stares. Our dream was mishandled - badly. Stasi was sick to her stomach; she wanted to leave the room and throw up. I was stunned. Disappointed. I felt the dive towards a total loss of heart. The following day I could feel my heart being pulled towards resentment. It's moments like that which usually toll the beginning of the end for most attempts at community.
(Waking The Dead, 197 )
9.21.2010
John Eldredge: Fight For It
Be kind, for everyone you know is facing a great battle.
A true community is something you will have to fight for. You'll have to fight to get one, and you'll have to fight to keep it afloat. But you fight for it like you bail out a life raft during a storm at sea. You want this thing to work. You need this thing to work. You can't ditch it and jump back on the cruise ship. This is the church; this is all you have. Without it, you'll go down. Or back to prison.
Suddenly all those "one another's" in Scripture make sense. Love one another. Bear one another's burdens. Forgive one another. Acts of kindness become deeply meaningful because we know we are at war. Knowing full well that we are all facing battles of our own, we give one another the benefit of the doubt. Leigh isn't intentionally being distant from me - she's probably under an assault. That's why you must know each other's stories, know how to "read" one another. A word of encouragement can heal a wound; a choice to forgive can destroy a stronghold. You never knew your simple acts were so weighty. Its what we've come to call "lifestyle warfare."
We check in regularly with one another, not out of paranoia ("Do you still like me?"), but in order to watch over each other's hearts. "How are you doing?" But be careful about what you are looking for from community. For if you bring your every need to it, it will collapse. Community is no substitute for God. I left our annual camping trip absolutely exhausted and disappointed. As we drove home, I realized it was because I was looking to them to validate me, appreciate me, fill this aching void in my heart. Only once in ten days did I take time to be away with God, alone. I was too busy trying to get my needs met through them. Which is why community cannot live without solitude.
Source: Ransomed Heart Ministries by John Eldredge
A true community is something you will have to fight for. You'll have to fight to get one, and you'll have to fight to keep it afloat. But you fight for it like you bail out a life raft during a storm at sea. You want this thing to work. You need this thing to work. You can't ditch it and jump back on the cruise ship. This is the church; this is all you have. Without it, you'll go down. Or back to prison.
Suddenly all those "one another's" in Scripture make sense. Love one another. Bear one another's burdens. Forgive one another. Acts of kindness become deeply meaningful because we know we are at war. Knowing full well that we are all facing battles of our own, we give one another the benefit of the doubt. Leigh isn't intentionally being distant from me - she's probably under an assault. That's why you must know each other's stories, know how to "read" one another. A word of encouragement can heal a wound; a choice to forgive can destroy a stronghold. You never knew your simple acts were so weighty. Its what we've come to call "lifestyle warfare."
We check in regularly with one another, not out of paranoia ("Do you still like me?"), but in order to watch over each other's hearts. "How are you doing?" But be careful about what you are looking for from community. For if you bring your every need to it, it will collapse. Community is no substitute for God. I left our annual camping trip absolutely exhausted and disappointed. As we drove home, I realized it was because I was looking to them to validate me, appreciate me, fill this aching void in my heart. Only once in ten days did I take time to be away with God, alone. I was too busy trying to get my needs met through them. Which is why community cannot live without solitude.
Source: Ransomed Heart Ministries by John Eldredge
Boyd Bailey: A Fruitful Family
“Blessed are all who fear the Lord, who walk in his ways. You will eat the fruit of your labor; blessings and prosperity will be yours. Your wife will be like a fruitful vine within your house; your sons will be like olive shoots around your table. Thus is the man blessed who fears the Lord.” Psalm 128:1-4
The fruit from a family who fears the Lord is tasty and delicious. However, this type of fruit does not happen immediately, but is cultivated over time. A fruitful wife sets the tone for the home. By God’s grace she weeds out criticism and replaces it with creativity. The home is her “pride and joy”. It is a reflection of her, as it is her nest.
A home to the wife is like an office to the husband. Things need to be just right or she feels violated. Indeed, be grateful for a conscientious wife who wants to express herself through the home. The fruit of a clean, decorated and ordered home is calming. It provides an environment of stability and frees family members to focus on each other and other people. A husband is free to do what he does best at work with a supportive wife at home.
A mother’s influence spreads like a lovely vine throughout the house. No area is left untouched. The children are nurtured and encouraged by her sensitivity. When instilled from birth, the fruit from children become obedience to God and love for the Lord. Their heart for God grows when parents read Bible stories to them as they wait in the womb.
The warm embrace of their little arms around your neck is the fruit of trust. The look of their kind and trusting eyes is the fruit of consistent love from mom and dad. Their bent toward love for God and people is fruit from their parent’s example of following Jesus.
Furthermore, family fruit flourishes when the man of the house models faithfulness. A husband’s intentional effort to follow the Lord ignites faith at home. A fruitful wife has no problem submitting to a husband—who submits to God. A God fearing man is quick to confess sin to his Heavenly father and to his family. It is not uncommon for him to say, “I am sorry” or “I was wrong”. Authentic confession encourages confession in others.
Confessed up hearts are family fruit. It is probable the family will pray, read their Bible and go to church, if the leader of the home does the same. Family fruit has a direct correlation to the faithfulness of the family head. Family fruit flourishes when the man fears God. Regardless of the circumstances he is committed to doing what God expects.
Therefore, your home becomes a hot house of character. The fruit threatens to bust through the glass panels for all to see. People are encouraged when they visit your hospitable home. Sinners need a safe environment, as acceptance comes from the fruit of Christ’s acceptance. Heavens dew and rainfall keep the fruit coming to a home submitted to Christ. Jesus says, “This is to my Father's glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples” (John 15:8). Fruit is proof of faithful families.
Does my character cultivate fruit that glorifies God in my family?
Related Readings: Genesis 7:1; Proverbs 31:15; Mark 5:19; Acts 10:2
Source: Wisdom Hunters by Boyd Bailey
The fruit from a family who fears the Lord is tasty and delicious. However, this type of fruit does not happen immediately, but is cultivated over time. A fruitful wife sets the tone for the home. By God’s grace she weeds out criticism and replaces it with creativity. The home is her “pride and joy”. It is a reflection of her, as it is her nest.
A home to the wife is like an office to the husband. Things need to be just right or she feels violated. Indeed, be grateful for a conscientious wife who wants to express herself through the home. The fruit of a clean, decorated and ordered home is calming. It provides an environment of stability and frees family members to focus on each other and other people. A husband is free to do what he does best at work with a supportive wife at home.
A mother’s influence spreads like a lovely vine throughout the house. No area is left untouched. The children are nurtured and encouraged by her sensitivity. When instilled from birth, the fruit from children become obedience to God and love for the Lord. Their heart for God grows when parents read Bible stories to them as they wait in the womb.
The warm embrace of their little arms around your neck is the fruit of trust. The look of their kind and trusting eyes is the fruit of consistent love from mom and dad. Their bent toward love for God and people is fruit from their parent’s example of following Jesus.
Furthermore, family fruit flourishes when the man of the house models faithfulness. A husband’s intentional effort to follow the Lord ignites faith at home. A fruitful wife has no problem submitting to a husband—who submits to God. A God fearing man is quick to confess sin to his Heavenly father and to his family. It is not uncommon for him to say, “I am sorry” or “I was wrong”. Authentic confession encourages confession in others.
Confessed up hearts are family fruit. It is probable the family will pray, read their Bible and go to church, if the leader of the home does the same. Family fruit has a direct correlation to the faithfulness of the family head. Family fruit flourishes when the man fears God. Regardless of the circumstances he is committed to doing what God expects.
Therefore, your home becomes a hot house of character. The fruit threatens to bust through the glass panels for all to see. People are encouraged when they visit your hospitable home. Sinners need a safe environment, as acceptance comes from the fruit of Christ’s acceptance. Heavens dew and rainfall keep the fruit coming to a home submitted to Christ. Jesus says, “This is to my Father's glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples” (John 15:8). Fruit is proof of faithful families.
Does my character cultivate fruit that glorifies God in my family?
Related Readings: Genesis 7:1; Proverbs 31:15; Mark 5:19; Acts 10:2
Source: Wisdom Hunters by Boyd Bailey
9.13.2010
The Daily Verse: Prayer
Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working. James 5:16
Do not underestimate the power of your prayers. If there is a situation you're aware of that needs prayer, be intentional to take it to the Father. The situation will be impacted by your intercession, and you will be impacted by spending time in communion with God.
Source: The Daily Verse by Kat Davis
Do not underestimate the power of your prayers. If there is a situation you're aware of that needs prayer, be intentional to take it to the Father. The situation will be impacted by your intercession, and you will be impacted by spending time in communion with God.
Source: The Daily Verse by Kat Davis
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