8.27.2009

Boyd Bailey: Quarrelsome Wife… (mom)

A quarrelsome wife is like a constant dripping on a rainy day; restraining her is like restraining the wind or grasping oil with the hand.” Proverbs 27:15-16.

A quarrelsome wife is not keen on listening and learning how to better relate to her husband. Her view of the world tends to settle issues with arguments. She’s inclined to be contentious and avoids rational conversations in place of ones driven by emotion. What is behind this implosive behavior? How does it need to be addressed and resolved?

“Pride only breeds quarrels” (Proverbs 13:10a). Pride is at the root of an angry and combative person. There is a sense of superiority that needs to be validated through winning arguments and belittling anyone who gets in their way. Humility and love are not a part of the relational equation, because it’s perceived as weak and passive. Unless stopped a quarrelsome wife will destroy everything in her proud path.

How can you help someone struggling in their own small world of hurt and hostility? Ignoring and doing nothing is not an option. This approach only worsens their condition. The remedy is not more medication but a resolve to patience, prayer and love. Pride is best confronted with an honest humility supported by the grace of God. Indeed, you may have to take a break from your business to take care of business at home.

Take the time and address this destructive behavior early, so it doesn’t destroy your marriage. Seek wisdom from a more mature couple that has learned how to fight fair. Perhaps you seek professional help and take a proactive approach to emotional healing. “Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins” (1 Peter 4:8).

How do I need to love my wife when she becomes angry and quarrelsome? Who can we confide in and create a plan to resolve our differences? “I appeal to you, brothers, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that all of you agree with one another so that there may be no divisions among you and that you may be perfectly united in mind and thought” (1 Corinthians 1:10).

Related Readings: Job 6:24-26; Isaiah 59:3-5; 2 Corinthians 10:5; 2 Timothy 2:23

No comments: