"The wisdom of the prudent is to give thought to their ways, but the folly of fools is deception." Proverbs 14:8
Pain is inevitable in life—but some pain can be avoided with proper preparation. There is no need to add unnecessary pain to relationships with unwise decisions and foolish behavior. For example, in marriage it takes much more than a grand wedding to create a great marriage. Promises need the backing of preparation to carry out commitments.
Wise couples get beyond the emotion of romantic love and become a student of each other. They truly accept one another for who they are, believe the best in their intentions and understand how to best communicate with their spouse. Pre-marriage preparation is a prescription for a productive and healthy life of marital maturity, however, ignoring past pain causes present pain. Avoid compounding pain by being healed of past relational hurt.
“Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective” (James 5:16).
Furthermore, avoid the pain of regrets. Be wise not to create habits or routines that later cause guilt. For instance, during the parenting season of caring for your children at home—how will you adjust your schedule? Can you maintain a heavy travel schedule and be available for them? Will some hobbies need to be put on hold until a later date?
Be wise to not treat every season of life the same. Keep your commitment to Christ a constant, but be willing to flex toward the needs of those around you. People who avoid pain, actively pray for guidance from Almighty God. Indeed, pain will always be a part of life on earth; only in heaven are we pain-free. Fools rush into pain, as if they are some kind of misguided martyr. While the wise learn from pain—but avoid its unnecessary injury.
"The simple believe anything, but the prudent give thought to their steps." Proverbs 14:15
Lastly, some pain is unavoidable—it is a product of yours or someone else’s poor decision-making. Do not wallow in self-pity—as a victim of a painful past. By God’s grace confess your sin of holding a grudge and get beyond your anger with forgiveness. Use pain as a platform to proclaim the grace and love of God. Avoid it by making wise decisions, but if faced with pain—leverage it for the Lord’s glory. Wisdom doesn’t waste pain.
"As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good in order to bring about this present result, to preserve many people alive” (Genesis 50:20, NASB).
How can I make wise preparations to avoid relational pain? What pain do I have in my heart that needs the Lord’s healing?
Related Readings: 1 Chronicles 4:10; Job 2:13; 1 Peter 5:10-12; Revelation 21:4
Wisdom Hunters by Boyd Bailey
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