I AM

I have a terrible habit of living in the future.

I don’t know why I do it… I just do.

I’m always thinking, worrying and preparing for what’s to come that I end up tying myself into anxious knots.

Then there are the times I’m haunted by my past.

All the regrets, disappointments and frustrations can lead me straight to the trough of depression if I let them.

A few weeks ago, I got stuck being anxious about the future again.

I had a lot on my plate. Nothing crazy, just, you know, a new position at work, some travel to work around, two wonderful kids at home who want to play with their daddy, some weddings and families to photograph, friends, relationships, family… and oh yea… My wife and I are expecting the birth of another child at the beginning of October!

Then, as if nudged by someone, I was reminded of a poem my mother-in-law sent me back in June:

I AM

by Helen Mallicoat


I was regretting the past and fearing the future.

Suddenly my Lord was speaking:

My name is I AM.

When you live in the past,

with its mistakes and regrets,

it is hard. I am not there.

My name is not I Was.

When you live in the future,

with its problems and fears,

it is hard. I am not there.

My name is not I Will Be.

When you live in this moment,

it is not hard. I am here.

My name is I AM.

I was reminded that the only time I’m living my *actual life* is right now, in the present moment.

The past can’t be changed and the future isn’t here yet. And if I’m spending too much time regretting my past, or being anxious about the future, I’m not here.

Tolstoy said it best when he said, “The present is the moment in which the divine nature of life is revealed. Let us respect our present time; God exists in this time.”

The present moment is a gift. It’s the only moment we have control over. It’s the only time we get to choose. It’s the only time we get to be who we really are. It’s the only time we get to be our actual self.

If you’re stuck somewhere in your past, let go. Breathe deep. God is with you.

If you’re anxious about what’s coming, let go. Breathe deep. God is with you.


He is not I Was.

He is not I Will be.

His name is I AM.

Source: The Actual Pastor by Dan Bennett