Grace

“And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that in all things, at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work.” - 2 Corinthians 9:8

Understanding the Holy Spirit

John 14: 14-16 NIV

Leave it Like it is

“The God who spoke light into existence, saying, “Let light shine from the darkness” is the very One who sets our hearts ablaze to shed light on the knowledge of God’s glory revealed in the face of Jesus, the Liberating King. But this beautiful treasure is contained in us – cracked pots made of earth and clay – so that the transcendent character of this power will be clearly seen as coming from God and not from us”
(2 Corinthians 4:6-7, The Voice Translation).

One Thing I Know for Sure

You all know my friend Mike by now, he’s a frequent guest contributor. I really love his post below, mostly because it does what all great writing does: it provides both an invitation and a confrontation. Enjoy! You can follow Mike on twitter here.

One thing I know for certain in life is that every human being is an addict. We’re all addicted to something: Drugs, Alcohol, Sex, Money, Power, Status, especially our own ways of thinking. Addiction is just a way of providing ourselves with a self-cure. We don’t know how to live with the pain and frustration of life and so we create ways to self-cure. We make an idol out of these things because we don’t know how to deal with the fact that life is painful, frustrating, ambivalent, and hard.

One thing I also know is that while we all try to protect ourselves from ourselves with a self-cure, we also protect ourselves from others. We hide ourselves from others because the shame is too messy and we don’t want other people to be offended by our mess. What things like shame and addiction and violence reveal are the ways in which we protect ourselves from others and them from us. The famous Philosopher Jean-Paul Sartre once said that, “Hell is other people.” I don’t think we really believe that. I think what we really believe is, Hell is our need and dependence upon other people.

The Apostle Paul, in Philippians, shares an interesting tidbit about Jesus when he says,

In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus:

Who, being in very nature God,
did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage;

Rather, he made himself nothing
by taking the very nature of a servant,
being made in human likeness.
And being found in appearance as a man,
he humbled himself
by becoming obedient to death—
even death on a cross!

Paul uses an interesting word when he says he made himself nothing. In Greek, this is translated kenosis. Kenosis is a word that describes self-emptying. On the Cross, Jesus empties himself for the sake of humanity.

Story telling is an interesting thing because if we are self-protective and if we protect ourselves from others, then our stories will often negate the things that we ourselves don’t want to see and we shape it to how others want to hear. But when we tell our stories honestly, truly honestly, like when we sit before a therapist two things occur:

1. The fragments of our stories our picked up when we have our, “A-HA” moments. When we tell ours stories, sometimes unconscious things become conscious and we finally see with clarity. Storytelling becomes a cure for our self-protection.


2. Storytelling becomes the way in which we are known. All of our intimacy issues are being worked through when we honestly tell our stories. All of the things in which we are ashamed of, guilty of, and all of our addictions and violence are revealed.

The other interesting thing about story is that when we tell our stories, when we empty ourselves and give the gift of our stories to others, The Crucified Christ shows up. Because when we empty ourselves out, God shows up to pick up the fragments of ourselves and God shows up to the pick up the fragments of our relationships. Storytelling is one of God’s cures for the idols we make in our self-cures.

When we honestly tell our stories about our addictions and struggles and frustrations, God shows up to pick up the fragments of our lives and delivers us from all the self-destructive things we do to protect ourselves from ourselves. When we tell our stories The Crucified Christ is there to meet us and deliver us. When we tell our stories about the things that we have done and how they have made us hide from others, The Crucified Christ meets us there and brings us together.

Source: The Actual Pastor by Mike Friesen

Mike Friesen's post on addiction
Photo Source

Now is the time.

Melissa offered me some amazing verses of encouragement tonight. Here they are:

Be strong, all you people of the land,’ declares the Lord, ‘and work. For I am with you,’ declares the Lord Almighty.
Haggai 2:4

The Lord gave this command to Joshua son of Nun: “Be strong and courageous, for you will bring the Israelites into the land I promised them on oath, and I myself will be with you.”
Deuteronomy 31:23

And he became more and more powerful, because the Lord God Almighty was with him.
2 Samuel 5:10

David also said to Solomon his son, “Be strong and courageous, and do the work. Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord God, my God, is with you. He will not fail you or forsake you until all the work for the service of the temple of the Lord is finished.
1 Chronicles 28:20
*Great fatherly advice

So he said to me, “This is the word of the Lord to Zerubbabel: ‘Not by might nor by power, but by my Spirit,’ says the Lord Almighty.
Zechariah 4:6

The Armor of God
Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.

And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people. Pray also for me, that whenever I speak, words may be given me so that I will fearlessly make known the mystery of the gospel, for which I am an ambassador in chains. Pray that I may declare it fearlessly, as I should.
Ephesians 6:10-20

I rejoiced greatly in the Lord that at last you renewed your concern for me. Indeed, you were concerned, but you had no opportunity to show it. I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength.
Philippians 4:10-13

Test me, Lord, and try me, examine my heart and my mind; for I have always been mindful of your unfailing love and have lived in reliance on your faithfulness.
Psalm 26: 2, 3

Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.
Psalm 139: 23-24

The Crickets Have Arthritis

Shane Koyczan
This may be use a bit off base, but his guy has such amazing passion.
|||Warning: This video contains a small amount of foul language.|||

What it Really Means to be a Real Man

Men are getting a lot of shallow advice about how to be men, and a lot of it is coming from the church.

Avoid passivity!

Embrace accountability!

Take charge! Bring your family to church! Bring your wife flowers! Just do it! Do active things followed by lots of exclamation points!!!

Does anybody else feel like Brick Tamland might be behind this whole thing?

What’s empty about all the “just do it” challenges that men are receiving is that they’re all about trying harder to control what is spinning out of control. Control your temptations! Control your anger! The problem is that control is rooted in fear, and fear will not lead us into freedom.

We fear failure.

We fear getting it wrong and being wrong.

We fear that we’re defective.

We fear appearing soft and weak.

We fear being afraid!

We fear criticism, especially from our wives.

We fear that our version of what it means to be a man is not the version of what it really means to be a man.

So we flail around, trying to control whatever we can, only to panic when we still fail, still get criticized, and still get it wrong.

(Thank you, Brene Brown, for chapter 3 of Daring Greatly, which helped to form that list).

The truth is that most of us need to release the grip on control, so that we can get at the root of our fear, which is shame.

What we need are flawed men who begin to tell their raw stories of losing control. We need to hear about how they’re naming and moving through their pain and loss (death), and how they’re embracing a radical grace that is setting them free (life). This kind of courage will slowly eradicate the culture of shame in men.

I’ll never forget the time when Dave Busby (a pastor who died of cystic fibrosis almost twenty years ago) told a huge room full of men and women that he had recently watched porn in a hotel room on a ministry road trip.

He talked about the process of feeling empty, then bored. He talked about making the decision to turn it on, then watching it for the next thirty minutes. He talked about the even deeper emptiness and the pit of deep shame into which he tumbled afterwards. Then he talked about the phone call he made to his best friend in the middle of the night, to whom he laid it all out. He talked about the process of losing control and what he did about it. He talked about what happened when he named it out loud to someone else. He talked about the grace that he received.

I’ll never, ever forget that.

Men need to hear that they will feel empty, and that they shouldn’t try hard to avoid feeling empty. The question is: What you will do when you inevitably do feel empty? How you will respond when you’ve done something stupid because you felt so empty? Can we hear some stories of normal men who get empty?

Now, if you’re a pastor and that is your story, please don’t stand up in your congregation on Sunday and tell them about your porn addiction. That wouldn’t be a good first step. But tell someone. Tell someone about how close you are to doing something stupid. Tell someone about how angry or bored or frustrated you are.

We are afraid of telling the truth about what’s really happening in our lives because we have a long history of hiding what’s really happening, and talking about what really isn’t happening.

“So how many girls have you guys slept with?”

This was the question that the tall, good-looking senior guy threw out in the locker room during the winter of my sophomore year of high school.

We all shifted uneasily and a few of us mumbled some very tentative responses. One of us finally asked him how many girls he had slept with. He thought hard about it, obviously working out some really advanced mathematics.

“About a hundred,” he finally answered.

We all sat there, stunned. It didn’t occur to me until years later that he might have been lying. Isn’t it interesting that of the millions of things that happened to me in high school, I have a vivid memory of this very short, seemingly insignificant scene?

Fast forward to every pastor’s conference I’ve ever attended. The same question gets asked, every time: “So how many people come to your church?”

We need to see that this question is actually the same question that tall, good-looking senior asked in that locker room.

So what are men supposed to talk about, and what can we quit talking about?

Can we start with some baseline assumptions?

You’re going to feel empty. You’re going to be attracted to people who are not your spouse sometimes, and it doesn’t mean you’re a terrible husband. You’re going to be bored with your life, and you’re going to be angry about it. You’re going to feel like a failure at work. You’re going to find yourself on the edge of doing stupid things. You’re going to do some stupid things. You’re going to be a bad listener (sometimes) and feel defective about it.

Men who are walking towards maturity are finding ways to talk about those things so that they return to who they are. These men are releasing control and becoming expansive. They are creating wide spaces for others to become who they actually are.

We can quit comparing ourselves to each other, endlessly berating each other, and acting like there is one kind of ideal man. I have a friend who loves to hunt and smoke cigars, and he’s a great man. I also have a friend who loves musicals and baking, and he’s a great man. There are so many ways to be a great man.

Now, a word about men who crash and burn.

Over the past several months, I have heard stories four pastors who have had affairs, lost their jobs, and wrecked their marriages. Each one of them doubtlessly knew that they were supposed to avoid passivity and remain accountable.

They needed something more. We need something more. These men are not monsters. They are good men who just stayed hidden for way too long. They are men who are losing the battle with fear and shame.

Dallas Willard once explained the five-step process that he saw men walk through on their way to destroying their lives. He said that it didn’t matter if it was drugs, alcohol, sex, overworking, or something else; it was always the same journey.

First, they got really busy. Then they get unsettled and restless. Then, they got angry. Then they felt entitled. Then they acted out.

Where are you on that journey?

Can you take the courageous step to tell someone about where you actually are? Then, try to be still long enough to ask this dangerous question: What do you want? When you dig underneath the anger and the entitlement, what do you really want? Who might be able to help you move towards that?

It might take a while to cut through the shame and the fear. It is slow work. But this is the work of becoming a real man. And it is worth it.

I want to be a real man. A flawed, growing, honest, expansive man with an easy smile, who is learning to create wide spaces for the people in my life to become who they actually are.

Source: The Actual Pastor