6.21.2010

Boyd Bailey: Wife Support

“Surely all the wealth that God took away from our father belongs to us and our children. So do whatever God has told you.” Genesis 31:16

Husbands need the support of their wives. Of course, it works both ways, as the wife needs to feel the support of her husband; but for a man, support is huge. A God-fearing husband knows the Lord has placed him in a position of leadership. It is overwhelming sometimes because he can feel squeezed by the pressures of life. The last thing a husband needs to feel is distance or distrust from his wife.

Wives, your encouragement may be the only thing that is preventing him from giving up, so do not underestimate the strength of your support. Your affirmation is valuable and powerful for the ongoing success of your husband. Men are not as self-sufficient as they may seem. On the outside he may seem invincible, but on the inside he is needy and desperate for recognition and validation.

A man needs to know his wife trusts his decision-making and his ability to provide for his family. Her confidence in him propels his self-confidence to higher levels. Your belief in your husband builds him up to believe in himself. It is difficult for a man to rise any higher than the opinion of his helpmate. Men long to be built up by their brides, so brag on him in public and affirm him in private.

Look to your husband as the leader God has placed in your life. Pray for him to lead lovingly and wisely. Be patient, so as not to usurp his authority when things are not getting done. Trust him with God, for He can handle him. Give him over to God and trust in the accountability of the Almighty. Sometimes a man needs to fail before he can be successful.

As a husband, it is imperative in God’s sight that you lovingly lead your wife and children. You may feel your wife is more qualified, smarter, and more spiritual than you, and while these all may be very true, God’s plan is for you to take the position of leadership in the home. She is looking for you to do whatever God has told you.

Prayer is your mantle of responsibility. See it as a privilege to enjoy and not an obligation to tolerate. She will trust you more and more as you remain trustworthy. It takes time to overcome a track record of distrust. Remain in the process of listening to God, following His commands, and then leading your family to do the same.

There are days you don’t feel like leading or even listening to the Lord. Life can be overwhelming. It can get you down to the point of wanting to walk away from all your responsibilities. But by grace, you carry on in your commitment to Christ, your wife, and your children.

It is foolish to flee from your responsibilities as a husband and father. Fools give up, but God has you in this position so you can learn about Him and His plan for you and your family. Do what He says with passion and abandonment. It may mean moving to another country. It may mean downsizing for a season. It may be organizing a family vacation. It may mean planning the calendar and budget for the upcoming year.

Men, love leads. Love follows God and leads his family. Give your wife the assurance that you listen to and follow God. She will respect you and trust you for this. Wives, support your husbands in ways that make him feel supported. Wife support is life support.

Source: Wisdom Hunters by Boyd Bailey

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